Alex

My mother, Brigitt, she's a funny person. We sometimes have our disagreements, of course, but she's a most loving and supportive mother, and all the things in my personality that I like the most, I owe to her.

Both having disagreements with me, and being a supportive mother at the same time, sometimes results in interesting situations. Like when I shaved that mohawk of mine in July last year. (God what a great hairdo, I miss it every time I see a picture of it.) She looked at me and exclaimed: "But Alex, you look like a fourteen-year old!". That is the disagreeing part. (She was right though. I looked exactly the same when I was fourteen, fifteen.)

A few days later, we were eating dinner at my grandmother's house together with some other members of our family. My 76 years old darling granny, being as traditional as she is, asked me what in all god's name I had done with my hair. My mother gently stroked me over the head and said: "She is so pretty!", in front of all our relatives. That is the supportive part.

So, between the two of us, she often speaks her mind about things I do that she thinks is crazy, or just plain wrong. But in front of others, she just can't resist being proud of me for letting my own ideas lead the way, no matter how crazy they might be.

Even though I already know this, I was still a bit surprised the other day. I was talking to my mamma and my granny in mamma's kitchen, when granny asked me why I'm going to China.

A few months ago, when I recieved the news of that I had been alloted a very generous scholarship, mamma said: "I'm happy for you, this is such a great opportunity, and it will be so exciting. I just wish that you wouldn't go so far away. Can't you go to Germany instead?". Later in the spring she wondered what she would do without me for a full year. Not wishing to upset her in any way, I told her that I've been thinking about doing my Bachelor's degree in China, and depending on the requirements, I might have to stay there two more years in order to do that. She was upset, of course. Not wishing to upset her more in any way, I felt obliged to tell her that I've also been entertaining the idea of doing my Master's degree in U.S.A., once I'm done with the Bachelor's in China. She was more upset, of course.  

And the other day, my granny started asking those same questions: Why do I have to go all the way to China? Why do I have to be away for a whole year? My mother raised her head and stated in that matter-of-fact voice: "Well, she might not come back after just one year! She might do her Bachelor's degree in China. Then she might go to America, maybe we won't see her in five years!". And she said it proudly, with that tone saying "don't you dare question my daughter's plans, because they are great.".

And, because my mamma have always told me that I can do anything I want, I know I can do anything I want, no matter what granny says, even no matter what mamma says. It must be so difficult for any parent when their child breakes free, it must be so difficult to let go. I hope she is proud of herself, knowing that even though she would prefer me to stay home, I can leave to find my own path because she gave me the strength to do so. And even though we sometimes have our disagreements, I'm so proud of her.
 


/Alex

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